Joined: May 16 2001
Location: Home, in my 5 bedroom, 2 bath, big mother fucking house my family built, little shits.
Just wait for it, there is some exposition and ranting then a request, thank you.
Hey guys, it's been good, well it was at least, until I became happy, and I was no longer every ones ego boost. I write how I'm happy and So and So, one of the nicest people to me on here among a few, as well as a seemingly nice guy in general is a god damned cock faced cum guzzler cause he can't read what I said. The structure was explained, it's oddness, but if he is too illiterate to understand that without becoming an insulting cunt, not my issue. I'm sure he's a very averagely smart guy and reading is no problem, however So and So, I've been reading, writing, and talking at a level past college graduate since I was 6-7.
So perhaps, like the reason in the god damned message said, it was structured the way it was for that actual reason, by god who'd have thought the reason I explained it was oddly written was the same reason as what I wrote it to be, what a mother fucking puzzle.
Then this, "Chime in with all our depressing shit plague I had.", what in the fuck is that shit about? I've been on this forum for 10-12 years with horrid, hopeless feelings, chronic depression, and I write the most positive thing I have ever written here, a simplistic epiphany that allowed me to restructure my views because the basic idea snuck into my subconcious unexpectadly, changed my ideas of cause and affect and overcome 30 years of traumatic experience an multiple people decide it's a good place to bitch about how shitty there lives are.
Suffering is the hostile enviroment of your own personal evolution, stagnate, whine, give up, blame, be apathetic, cruel, sarcastic with ill intent, and even if you physically do not die, you're dead inside, like so and so so very, very clearly is. I decided after this epiphany snuck intomy mind unexpectadly, well decided means I had a choice actually, it changed my mentality in such a way I can't explain, but my life is amazing now. So much better than I'd ever hoped... I never actually did hope, I was just suicidal but scared, I'm just not now, among so much more.
It's fucking evolution, hostile things in life and outcomes is/are the catalyst for changes that allow an adaptive change for the better. IF you are not a whiny, beaten down, insulting needlessly, cock sucking little shit.
So and so especially as he felt the need to insult me. He So and So, if you are in a loveless marriage WORK TO MOTHER FUCKING FIX IT, don't bitch like some whiny cunt and give up. An seriously, referring you to your son as "a handicapped kid" after you've posted about him here for years and we all know his name... Sickening to me, purely fucking sickening. I'm sorry your handicapped kid didn't live up to your, regardless of his handicap, insane and controling expectations you lunatic.
You act so fucking intelligent so and so, yet your plans for your child, before he became a burden to you, were so overcompensating and screamed of vicarious living.
I mean SnS, for god's sake I found research studies on autism for you boy, I would find you things about it to cheer you up, my girlfriend unfortunately when we ironed out our issues said she could givea propper course of action without an hour or two alone with him to analyze his behavior extensively. Considering she has worked with violent, non-verbal, autistic children for 4 years now, I think that was nice of her. There was one thing I never shared, her comment after reading your posts "This fucker doesn't care or doesn't care to understand his son, I 'm not sure which. Either way, that kid needs real help."
Even though a great amount of difficult, painful, scary shit is happening in my life in a fucking tidal wave I don't hope into peoples positive threads and fucking piss on them in a childish, envious, bitchy little rage. What the fuck is your problem so and so.
I've been dealing with my Mom's attempted suicides, helping her work through it, helping my ex Amber through some stuff that is a bit awkward but fuck it, I want her to have a happy life, she's not mean, she deserves happiness. One of my newest friends has a very show chance of survival from ovarian cancer, a sick irony being all she wanted was kids, and her ovaries will probably kill her. My friend Jimmy has some serious issues, he was severely abused and has PTSD, he was kicked out of where he paid rent with a long time friend, I invited him to move in that month, which worked up well cause I have up my dream gaming haven/slightly office for my Dad who is also sick so he could be warm cause he's having among multiple issues a very difficult time with keeping his body temperature up aside just keeping his weight up, it's not cancer, they don't know, so I have something I waited 13+ years for my own gaming room, and I gave it away without hesitation or remourse cause it was something that would save anothers suffering, I couldn't stand thinking of him constantly freezing, I gave my father, a man I hate so much, the gaming/office I'd wanted for so much over a decade so he'd not freeze in one of our basement rooms. I redid one of the basement room for my buddy Jimmy to stay in. Jimmy is doing better in his life now than he has ever done before, his mother thanked me for SAVING HER SON AS SHE CRIED TO ME, before he came here he was a pot smoking, alcoholic, jobless, self mutilating, burning, borderline suicidal hopeless man. Now he's got a nice girlfriend and a so-so job, so-so for Jimmy is amazing, he's never done anything but give up and fall into drug addiction.
Point being, So and so and others who felt the best place to post their negative stuff was in my really oly solely happy thread in 10+ years in what appears as attempts to bring me down, lower my mood, and push me past breaking so they had a show to watch.
Some of you are nice people, some of you were, so and so, you were a wonderful guy, but you've changed to a lazy, heartless, apathetic little fucker who needs to grow some balls, find his dick, shut the fuck up, and instead of whining, fix his god damned problems. Accepting this are shit is stupid, I know it for a fact actually. So go fix it, moron.
Lastly, I wasnt my acount deleted completely, I have no need of this place considering it has degenerated into a self feed puddle of sickeningly cruel and uncaring people who have lost who they were in such a grievous was I'd pity them if they weren't such cock sucking assholes.
Oh, an last thing... DJ you fucking goofy little prick, my "play dates" as you mocked me for having worked out pretty fucking well, been quite a bit over a year we've been together, she's an amazing woman, and I'm moving out to Maryland in fall to live the next two years of her college education before we return to buffalo and I am given the house as my own, as we plan to start a family when shes 26-28, yeah it's a wait sure cause she just turned 20, but I'm okay with then you cartoon character, my play dates ended up with me in love with a woman who can not have enough of me and nearing 30 I can say in all honesty I fuck my sexy 20 year old girlfriend between 3-7 times a day, every day save when she's on her period, then she just sucks me off a lot, an that seems a good trade for waiting a little longer for kids than I wanted. Man DJ, you idiotic little cunt, you sure were right about her. God you know it all assholes sicken me, I never even bring this up but since my last sentence is what it is I amy as well.
Fuck you bi-polar assholes, helpful one second and cock suckers the next. You're old enough to not use anonymity as a barrier to be a prick you cowards, grow the FUCK up.
Next, so many of you act like you are so mother fucking smart. Without dealing with listing my college grades since I've started I'll just do the basic, instantly disregarded openly, but it'll stick anyway.
I have an IQ of 157, I've been in Mensa more of my life than I have not. So you self important wanna be geniuses can go and shut the fuck up. You wanna know what being a genius is like, if your not a pompous cock hole of one? Awesome. I mean you guys pretend to be genius cock holes for some reason, you're not fooling anyone.
I pay attention in class, I read the material, and that's it, I don't need to study for my fucking exams, I average test results from 90 to perfect, nothing less, since I started. So all you people who looked down on me, I had problems, I took care of them, TRY IT YOURSELF. As for all your fantasy geniuses, go and fuck yourselves, you wouldn't be able to have a fucking chance in hell of keeping up with me if I had any desire to be some know it all asshole like you all so crave to be and measure your dicks against each other about.
So long and thanks for nothing, aside Dimitri, you've always been a really, really cool guy to me, and to those of a neutral nature, this is not directed at you.
I do not want to even know scum like what so many of you have sadly become, it makes me sad, it makes me sick, and you're so apathetic to try and even fucking fix your god damned lives... Pathetic. Enjoy your life long misery and hell you worthless sacks of flesh, may you suffer like you tried to instill into my positive mood. You act like fucking cancers, trying to eat away at another persons good thing or mood because you're shit or your life is, but honestly your life is almost without fail because you are useless trash worth little more than future fertilizer.
Fuck off, every single asshole here, I gladly hope that for all the shitty ways you've treated me, others, and attempts of purpose to cause harm to others, that you suffer for life. what can I say, I'm vengeful and you people deserve it. *shrug* Go die.
Now, whatever admin may be handy, I'd prefer dimitri for sentimental reasons, but I don't mind I suppose, I want my account of Zilor absolutely deleted. IP block it, go all out, make it fucking non-existent.
I win you insulting, abusive, hateful, disgusting humans sacks of shit, because I'm not going to ever, in all of time return here. Last word fuckers, best part, you worthless insulting shits will feel every syllable as it resonates with truth you'll most assuredly openly deny in rage or whatever on here. You enjoy talking to no one who is here, later, dead grandmother pussy crusts.